Imperium

noises. a television without an antennae, or its programs have been cut off. tiny noisy, black-and-white ants just scattered and keep on moving inside the tiny box of light.

and so can people.
a pair of them, or maybe three, talking to each other in a group, while dong so in a room filled with ten more of their kinds. and in this room, in front of these ten ant groups, there's ALSO a group of people talking about a matter of importance. and i am smacked in the middle of it.

inside me, deep inside, my sense of control is tingling. i feel like i want to take the loudest speaker on the face of the earth and scream "FAVETE LINGUIS!!!" through the speakers. but of course, i don't have the sepakers. and this people wouldn't comply to it. they didn't even comply to a simple loud "sssh!".

this is one of those times. times when i couldn't grasp the things that are out of my sense of control's reach. times when i couldn't hit a rider for playing around with its back while me being stuck behind him, because my sense of guilt overpowers my sense of control.

sense of control.
is it wrong to have it?
if it's a disease, how do i cure it?
if it's a blessing, how do i use it?
if it's a part of you from the beginning, how do you accept it?

Do you have the answers? cause i'd love to hear them.